Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,705

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Trending via Reddit:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Spotted on Threads:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Trending via WeChat:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Trending via X:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Making waves on X:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Just shared via Facebook:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Witty quote about parents doubting the internet but trusting Facebook.
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Commentary:
"Parents: the only people who simultaneously teach you skepticism and fall for a 'Free Cruise to the Bahamas' ad on Facebook. The irony is strong with this one!"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

61 shares on Discord this month:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

46 shares on Discord this month:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

60 shares on WeChat this month:

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

42 shares on X this month:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Seen just now on Threads:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Making waves on Telegram:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

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