Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Going bananas on Threads:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Making waves on Telegram:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Just shared via TikTok:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Going viral on Discord:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the ice is thinning on those old-school jams 😂🧊🎶

collaborate, collaboration, communication, humor, just, listen, listening, nostalgia, people, stop, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

0

2 months ago

close, food, fry, humor, onion, onion ring, ring, rings, snack
I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

0

6 months ago

attitude, believe, desire, honesty, humor, i, motivation, phrase, truth, want, wanted, willpower
I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

0

2 months ago

doing, expectations, hate, humor, i, life, me, people, planning, procrastination, today, tomorrow, uncertainty
I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

0

2 months ago

argue, distraction, every, humor, i, just, kids, living, living room, parenting, room, surface, trying, TV, vacuum, watch
How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

0

2 months ago

actually, adult, adult content, age, content, found, humor, innocence, love, old, people, porn, realization, relationship
On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

0

2 months ago

agenda, family, family vacation, internet, loud, parent, parents, read, reading, vacation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

38 shares on Slack this month:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Spotted on X:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Breaking via Messenger:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Going bananas on Messenger:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Just shared via YouTube:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Spotted on YouTube:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Just shared via Twitch:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Just shared via YouTube:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨