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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,750

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Just shared via WeChat:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Trending via Telegram:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'll need to start issuing "Cool Media Club" membership cards 🎟️😎📺

allowed, consumption, dislike, entertainment, humor, i, media, opinion, people, preference

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

1 month ago
acceptance, comparison, cooky, days, fight, grandma, humor, i, just, protest, website
Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

1 month ago
apology, behavior, brain, humor, i, late, mental, mental state, plastic, sorry, state
The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

1 month ago
10am, eating, even, food, humor, i, lunch, meal, sandwich, snack
Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

2 months ago
humor, loud, music, nostalgia, parents, realization, right
When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

1 month ago
accountable, communication, expectations, held, humor, i, irony, mean, relationship, wanted
Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

5 months ago
awkward, awkward moment, ever, family, hang, hangout, humor, interaction, moment, observation, relationship, social, social interaction, someone

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Just shared via WeChat:

Just shared via Messenger:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

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People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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