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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Just shared via Discord:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Going viral on Pinterest:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Making waves on Slack:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Going viral on Slack:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Making waves on TikTok:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Person: *showering me with compliments* Me: Hold on, let me just sprinkle a little reality on this 🌧️💁‍♂️ #HumbleBragging"

compliment, give, humor, irony, let, me, mistaken, person, response, self-deprecation, synopsis, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

1 month ago

adult, being, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, idea, life, lotion, skincare
90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

4 months ago

90, happen, i, never, things, works, worry, worrying
Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

1 month ago

always, blocking, buffer, climax, enough, humor, i, just, need, Pornhub, prank, relationship, revenge, someone, videos
ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

5 months ago

ability, absolutely, ADHD, anything, being, good, humor, irony, life, live, necessity, need, pretty, skill, struggle, talent, terrible, want
So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

2 months ago

air, care, ceiling, ceiling fan, fan, hands, hazard, humor, irony, just, song, songs, tell, throw
I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

5 months ago

apology, awkward, awkward moment, clothes, flirting, funny phrase, humor, i, line, moment, phrase, pickup, pickup line, said, sexy, sexy time, sorry, still, time, want

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Just shared via WeChat:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

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Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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