Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,297

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Making waves on WeChat:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Seen just now on Messenger:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Making waves on Slack:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Trending via Messenger:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Breaking via YouTube:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Just landed via Slack:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Person: *showering me with compliments* Me: Hold on, let me just sprinkle a little reality on this 🌧️💁‍♂️ #HumbleBragging"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

2 months ago

humor, i, job, lay, lay down, laziness, meant, ponder, relaxation, work
This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

2 months ago

actually, back, Back to the Future, biff, Biff Tannen, comparison, future, humor, movie, movie reference, reference, tannen, worse, worst
I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

2 months ago

bad, bad choice, being, choice, choices, crisis, existential, existential crisis, hell, humor, infinite, infinite loop, irony, just, life, life choice, loop, real, real hell, self-doubt, stuck, think
This meeting could have been a cave painting.

5 months ago

cave, cave painting, communication, humor, meeting, painting, productivity, sarcasm, workplace
People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

4 months ago

allowed, censorship, decide, decision, freedom, freedom of speech, humor, laugh, laughter, people, sense, sense of humor, should, speech
The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

2 months ago

animals, great, having, house, humor, joke, just, mouse, single, sure, suspicion, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

87 shares on Slack this month:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Going viral on Discord:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Seen just now on X:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Spotted on X:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Seen just now on Discord:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Seen just now on Threads:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨