Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Going viral on Telegram:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Just landed via Threads:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Shared recently on Discord:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Going bananas on Messenger:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Just landed via Twitch:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Just shared via Discord:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Spotted on Threads:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you existential dread, just remember: deep breaths and chocolate cake save the day 🍰😅

alive, being, cool, ever, existence, horror, humor, irony, life, peace, sex

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

0

2 months ago

frustration, human, humans, humor, life, meant, modern, modern life, password, security, technology
We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

0

2 months ago

change, humor, nostalgia, people, pirate, plank, tradition, used, walk
Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, entertainment, humor, life, lifestyle, luxury, observation, party, people, rich, social, social life, videos, watch, wealth
How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

0

2 months ago

age, age humor, aging, humor, impatience, joke, kick, life, life joke, old, older, still, thing, waiting, wisdom, wise
If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

0

2 months ago

bonfire, bring, campfire, expectation, fuel, guitar, humor, joke, music
Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

0

2 months ago

comedy, detail, every, film, Godfather, humor, i, italian, movie, new, notice, observation, time, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on X this month:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

32 shares on Discord this month:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

18 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Live now on Telegram:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Just shared via Slack:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Just landed via Threads:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Shared recently on X:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨