Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Making waves on Messenger:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Seen just now on Threads:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Just shared via Instagram:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Trending via X:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Seen just now on X:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Going viral on Telegram:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Freshly posted on X:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

0
Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic "nap attack"—the moment when your bed calls louder than your responsibilities. 😂🛏️ Who knew rebellion felt so cozy? Sometimes, the best sleep is the kind you sneak in when you’re supposed to be a responsible adult. 😴🤫

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

55 shares on Slack this month:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

79 shares on Threads this month:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

19 shares on Discord this month:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

27 shares on Twitch this month:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy? I have Spotify.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Going viral on Facebook:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Live now on Reddit:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Just shared via WeChat:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴