Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Flirting, schmirting – it's just me spreading the love with some bonus charm for those blessed with extra attractiveness! 😉💁‍♂️ After all, why be regular nice when you can be extra nice? 💫😜"

attraction, attractive, being, call, charm, dating, extra, flirting, humor, i, just, nice, playfulness, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

1 month ago

activity, adults, Amazon, driver, fun, fun activity, gift, gift giving, giving, holidays, humor, lap, list, mall, should, sit, tell, want, wish, wish list
Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

1 month ago

addiction, caffeine, coffee, day, eye, hear, humor, i, left, second, struggle
People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

1 month ago

activity, allowed, early, early leave, entertainment, fun, fun activity, leave, movie, people, personal, personal time, policy, should, time, time off, want, work, workplace, workplace policy
You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

1 month ago

activity, couch, door, fun, fun activity, humor, irony, outdoor, struggle, sun, want
Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

1 month ago

desire, drive, existential, humor, joke, life, live, relationship, sex, sex drive, will to live, yes
Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

4 weeks ago

activity, car, car ride, fun, fun activity, good, health, loud, loud music, mental, mental health, music, relaxation, ride, self-care, solo, soul, yourself

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Instagram this month:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

11 shares on Slack this month:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I need to consult the woods about this.

92 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Trending via Instagram:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Going viral on Telegram:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Shared recently on YouTube:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Trending via Messenger:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Just shared via Instagram:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Going viral on Reddit:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Keep the laugh going 😂

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨