Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
  • Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.
  • Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.
  • With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.
  • You’re pretty… fucked up.
  • One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.