Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

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I disagree with my politics.

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The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

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A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

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Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

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The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.