Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Breaking via Twitch:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Seen just now on Discord:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Just shared via Facebook:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Live now on Twitch:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Spotted on Facebook:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Going viral on Twitch:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Just landed via Instagram:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Juggling like a clown: stress in the quiet corner, tweet complaints in bird language, smile like a pro in public 🤡🐦😄

complain, coping, coping mechanism, emotion, happiness, happy, mechanism, media, private, public, social, social media, stress, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

0

2 months ago

bar, everyone, expectation, humor, irony, line, love, open, open bar, patient, relationship, wedding
The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

0

2 weeks ago

actor, actors, home, humor, joke, movie
Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

0

2 months ago

contemplation, couple, humor, i, intimacy, relationship, sex, wonder
Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

0

2 months ago

argue, argument, beat, conflict, experience, humor, idiot, level, logic, wisdom
My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

0

2 months ago

am, ceiling, daily, daily struggle, debating, humor, i, live, living, minutes, morning, morning routine, need, procrastination, routine, staring, struggle, thinking, tired, today
I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

0

2 months ago

bagel, cheese, craving, cream, cream cheese, food, humor, i, need, self-care, snack, therapy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

84 shares on Slack this month:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

94 shares on TikTok this month:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

19 shares on Telegram this month:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

76 shares on Threads this month:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Just landed via X:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Trending via WeChat:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨