Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I don’t do revenge. You’ll fuck yourself up better than I ever could.
  • Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.
  • If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.
  • It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.
  • Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.
  • If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.