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New funny quotes: 6 this month

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

32 Funny potato quotes

Funny potato quotes 🥔 are here to add a dash of humor to your day! Perfect for spud lovers and joke enthusiasts alike, these quirky quips will have you laughing out loud 😂. From clever puns to unexpected twists, you’ll never look at a potato the same way again. Get ready to mash up your mood with some tater-inspired hilarity 🤣—because who knew potatoes could be so a-peel-ing?

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

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