Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,520

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Broadcasted on X:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Going viral on Messenger:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Seen just now on Threads:

Talents: eating!

Shared recently on X:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying for a baby: 🎉🥳🥰
Sharing too much info: 🚫🫣🙈

baby, cause, celebration, communication, creampie, daily, humor, norm, parents, social, social norm, socially, telling, trying, unacceptable

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, bead, bead curtain, broken, broken leg, curtain, getting, horse, humor, leg, me, put, sex, sex shop, shop, situation, tangled
Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

0

3 months ago

anxiety, apology, back, communication, humor, i, interaction, introvert, people, social, social anxiety, social interaction, sorry, talking, text, texting
Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

0

2 months ago

alone, alone time, good, having, humor, peace, rest, schedule, sleeping, sleeping schedule, solitude, talk, talking, time
Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

0

2 months ago

AI, artificial, artificial intelligence, call, fauxtograph, generated, generated picture, humor, intelligence, joke, photography, picture, why, wordplay
Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

0

2 months ago

adulting, difficult, doing, emotion, enough, feel, growth, minute, motivation, next, personal, personal growth, pride, proud, self-doubt, struggle, yourself
This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

0

2 months ago

comfort, expression, going, humor, pillow, relatable, scream, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Slack this month:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Making waves on YouTube:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Just landed via Telegram:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Just shared via X:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Going viral on Slack:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Just shared via Slack:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨