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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Just landed via Slack:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Just landed via YouTube:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Spotted on Telegram:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Just shared via Slack:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Spotted on Telegram:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Spotted on Messenger:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's found their calling 🧀🥯 Who knew goat cheese could steal the spotlight so effortlessly? Don't worry, we all have our moments of culinary stardom in unexpected places! 🌟 #GoatCheeseGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Trending via TikTok:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Spotted on Twitch:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Live now on Pinterest:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Making waves on YouTube:

I need money, not feelings.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

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