The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?