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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,927

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Seen just now on Discord:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Just landed via TikTok:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
When I'm around, even ghosts are like, "Whoa, too dramatic for me!" 👻✨

awkwardness, context, humor, insane, me, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension, vanishing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

1 month ago
Barbie, culture, environmentalism, got, humor, irony, little, microplastic, microplastics, pop, pop culture, self-reflection, us
Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

1 month ago
behavior, cashier, day, everyone, except, good, humor, morning, people, social, social behavior, talk
We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

4 months ago
celebration, end, every, fashion, holiday, humor, need, summer, sundress, woman, women
You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

3 months ago
2020, apocalypse, chaos, convince, hell, humor, living, me, open, pandemic, portal, still, surreal, year
If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

1 month ago
animal, animal joke, cheese, greeting, humor, i, ID, joke, meet, mouse, pun, say, things, wordplay
Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

1 month ago
ask, communication, culture, deep, explain, humor, love, man, men, relationship, respect, sign, something

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Going viral on Slack:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Just shared via Telegram:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Just shared via Threads:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Going viral on WeChat:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

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Activity Log ✨

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

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The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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