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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

30 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Making waves on Telegram:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Spotted on Slack:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Trending via Instagram:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Shared recently on Twitch:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Just shared via Slack:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Seen just now on X:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

6 months ago

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

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Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle between our inner genius and inner chaos! 🧠🌪️ It's like a dramatic tango between sensible decisions and spontaneous whims. 🕺💥 Will they ever find a harmonious balance, or are we doomed to forever grapple with our own comedic turmoil? Only time (and a solid dose of self-awareness) will tell! 😉🤹‍♂️

conflict, decision, humor, impulse, resolve, something, stupid, stupidity, tendency, tension

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

30 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Seen just now on Telegram:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Live now on X:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Just landed via Reddit:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Making waves on Facebook:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

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