Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Going bananas on X:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Shared recently on Slack:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Just shared via Threads:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Spotted on Telegram:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Making waves on Threads:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Making waves on Discord:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

2 months ago

0

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic struggle between theory and reality – the brain saying 'shh' but the mouth doing its own thing 🤭. Who can relate to this never-ending battle of self-control? It's like our mouths have a mind of their own sometimes, right? 😅 Just remember, sometimes silence truly is golden… in theory! 😉"

hear, humor, i, know, life, myself, say, silence, talking, theoretically, tragedy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

0

1 month ago

able, again, daily, daily routine, frustration, hair, humor, i, mean, routine, should, wash, washing
Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

0

2 months ago

activity, creativity, fun, Google, humor, names, research, things, woman, writing
No amount of daylight can save us.

0

2 months ago

amount, daylight, existential, humor, irony, save, us
Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

0

2 months ago

buy, diet, disappointment, donut, donuts, food, grocery, hate, home, humor, realize, shopping, surprise, veggie
I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, being, days, Friday, happiness, happy, humor, i, only, realization, time, Wednesday, week
Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

0

4 months ago

again, alone, awkward, awkward moment, bowling, funny situation, humor, imagine, moment, self entertainment, sit, situation, turn, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

17 shares on YouTube this month:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

13 shares on Messenger this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,468

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Sane is boring.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Just landed via Instagram:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Just shared via Slack:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Live now on Discord:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Shared recently on Twitch:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Just shared via Instagram:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Going viral on Reddit:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

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