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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Trending via Telegram:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Making waves on Discord:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Going bananas on X:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Breaking via Facebook:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Spotted on Discord:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Spreading quickly via X:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Spotted on Slack:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

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The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.
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Commentary:
When turf wars involved jazz hands and spin moves, the only things at risk were dance shoes and dignity. 💃🕺😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,459

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Just shared via Instagram:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Trending via Snapchat:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Shared recently on Threads:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Making waves on Slack:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

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