Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Men are very good at being women lately.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Just shared via Discord:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Breaking via WeChat:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Live now on Slack:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When turf wars involved jazz hands and spin moves, the only things at risk were dance shoes and dignity. 💃🕺😂

battle, battles, better, choreography, conflict, conflict resolution, dance, dance battle, gang, humor, nostalgia, resolution, settled, street, street gang, things, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, around, behavior, communication, distraction, etiquette, everyone, hear, i, know, loud, manners, needs, public, public speech, social, social behavior, speakerphone, speech, talk
This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

0

2 months ago

baking, baking fail, close, codes, design, even, fail, festive, festive fun, fire, fire safety, fun, gingerbread, gingerbread house, holiday, holiday humor, house, house design, humor, safety, safety codes
Don’t study, get slutty!

0

2 months ago

advice, dating, fun, humor, party, slutty, study, youth
Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

0

2 months ago

am, being, house, i, person, rich, rich person, stress, struggle, trash, why
“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

0

2 months ago

exactly, expectation, humor, okay, pass, patience, procrastination, this too shall pass, time, too, uncertainty
All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

0

3 months ago

90s, cigarette, cigarettes, happiness, happy, music, nostalgia

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Wake me when AI does housework.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

48 shares on Slack this month:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Shared recently on Threads:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Just shared via Threads:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Making waves on Messenger:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Going viral on Facebook:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Just shared via Messenger:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Just shared via Threads:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Don’t study, get slutty!

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨