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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Seen just now on Facebook:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Just shared via X:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Making waves on Instagram:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Making waves on Discord:

Life is weird and then you die.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Live now on Facebook:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Making waves on Telegram:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Going viral on Messenger:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about car accidents and awkward encounters with new people.

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Commentary:
Meeting new people was not on my to-do list today! 🚗😅👋

accident, awkward, awkward situation, bender, car, car accident, driver, driver interaction, fender, fender bender, having, interaction, meet, meeting, new, new person, person, situation, worst

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41 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

94 shares on Slack this month:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

23 shares on Discord this month:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Making waves on YouTube:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Breaking via TikTok:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Seen just now on Discord:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Making waves on Messenger:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Spotted on WeChat:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨