Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

How is it still this week?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Trending via Slack:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Making waves on Reddit:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Just landed via WeChat:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Trending via Pinterest:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Spotted on Facebook:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Them: Good morning! ☀️
Me: Where? 🤔 Probably still lost in yesterday's dreams! 😴

confusion, good, greeting, humor, me, morning, response, sarcasm, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

2 months ago

being, business, communication, great, held, hostage, humor, meetings, office, work
Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

2 months ago

everyone, existence, human, humor, internet, laugh, smart, stupidity
I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

2 months ago

anything, communication, else, email, emails, end, feel, free, humor, i, need, please, politeness, reach, sarcasm, stopped, writing
I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

2 months ago

air, air quote, apology, friends, friendship, humor, i, interaction, said, sarcasm, social, social interaction, sorry, used
Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

1 month ago

accident, accidentally, asked, cafe, humor, i, interaction, leftist, milk, normal, said, social, social interaction, speech, wanted
The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

1 month ago

benevolent, computer, evil, humor, less, most, phone, screen, technology, TV

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Just landed via Instagram:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Spotted on TikTok:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Trending via YouTube:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Live now on WhatsApp:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Going viral on Messenger:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Spotted on Twitch:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨