Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Breaking via Slack:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Spotted on X:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Spotted on X:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Live now on Slack:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Trending via YouTube:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Just shared via Instagram:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Shared recently on X:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This post will self-destruct in 3…2…oops, too late! 🤯🤫👀

confidentiality, forget, humor, joke, memory, need, post, secret, seen, top-secret

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

0

2 months ago

activity, balance, control, couch, end, exercise, falling, favorite, leisure, pose, remote, remote control, table, yoga
Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

0

2 months ago

choice, decision, fun, happy, humor, irresponsible, joy, me, stupid, yes
Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

0

2 months ago

better, frustration, humor, idiot, idiots, irony, job, keep, making, proof, things, workplace
A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

0

2 months ago

good, house, humor, illusion, know, living, magic, magician, mystery, never, secret, surprise, unexpected
I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

0

2 months ago

activity, childhood, culture, DuckTales, flex, fun, fun activity, intro, intro song, music, nostalgia, pop, pop culture, sing, song
Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

0

2 weeks ago

apparently, beautiful, beautiful Latina, dating, dating problem, humor, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, latina, problem, weakness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Messenger this month:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

93 shares on Discord this month:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

79 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Spotted on X:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Live now on Instagram:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Live now on Messenger:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨