Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

48 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Spotted on WeChat:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Making waves on X:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Just shared via YouTube:

Coffee is just goth water.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Spotted on TikTok:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Trending via LinkedIn:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Live now on Discord:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

6 months ago

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

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Commentary:
Ah, the delightful chaos of Twitter – a space where hashbrowns and genocide somehow share the same spotlight 🥔💬 It's like navigating a wild jungle of opinions, where one minute you're discussing breakfast foods, and the next, you're being accused of world domination. Twitter truly is a magical place where the absurd and the serious collide in a whirlwind of hashtags and heated debates!

absurdity, fun, genocide, hashbrown, humor, interaction, media, online, online interaction, responsible, sarcasm, say, social, social media, someone, tweet, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

48 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Spotted on Facebook:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Seen just now on Messenger:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Reported on Facebook:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Reported on Threads:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Breaking via Discord:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

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