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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Never trust a wet fart.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Just shared via Twitch:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Making waves on Threads:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Live now on WeChat:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

4 weeks ago

Humorous text highlighting social media's wild reactions about hashbrowns and genocide.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the delightful chaos of Twitter – a space where hashbrowns and genocide somehow share the same spotlight 🥔💬 It's like navigating a wild jungle of opinions, where one minute you're discussing breakfast foods, and the next, you're being accused of world domination. Twitter truly is a magical place where the absurd and the serious collide in a whirlwind of hashtags and heated debates!

absurdity, fun, genocide, hashbrown, humor, interaction, media, online, online interaction, responsible, sarcasm, say, social, social media, someone, tweet, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Spotted on Threads:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Shared recently on WeChat:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Spotted on Messenger:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Freshly posted on Threads:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Going viral on TikTok:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Just shared via Twitch:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Just shared via Slack:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Breaking via Twitch:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

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