Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Spotted on TikTok:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Shared recently on Threads:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Trending via Pinterest:

My middle finger salutes you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Seen just now on X:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Freshly posted on X:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

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Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.
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Commentary:
Ah, the delightful chaos of Twitter – a space where hashbrowns and genocide somehow share the same spotlight 🥔💬 It's like navigating a wild jungle of opinions, where one minute you're discussing breakfast foods, and the next, you're being accused of world domination. Twitter truly is a magical place where the absurd and the serious collide in a whirlwind of hashtags and heated debates!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Slack this month:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Work for a living? In this economy?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Wolves should really raise more people.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Making waves on X:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Breaking via Telegram:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Seen just now on Slack:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Just shared via Instagram:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

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