Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

60 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,329

Funny Quotes Topics

17,449

Funny Quotes Images

15,329

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Just shared via WeChat:

How do I un-know people?

Making waves on Discord:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Just landed via Twitch:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Just shared via Facebook:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Going viral on Threads:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Protecting your data… I mean, genes, with double the security! 🔒👶 #SafetyFirst #TechSavvyParents"

authentication, birth, birth control, condom, control, humor, joke, protection, relationship, safety, two-factor, two-factor authentication

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, multiple, multiple personality, personality, psychology, score, self-assessment, test
In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

0

2 months ago

bake, cooking, expectations, future, generations, grandma, humor, stereotypes, tattoo
I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

0

2 months ago

classics, ever, every, FOMO, humor, i, literature, making, me, read, reading, reference, references, understand, understanding, want
Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

0

2 months ago

25, adulthood, age, alarm, humor, life, need, problems, reality, stress, turn, wake
A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

0

2 months ago

advice, bees, better, explaining, fly, honey, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, man, metaphor, once, patience, said, shit, time, waste, wisdom, wise
If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

0

5 months ago

delete, humor, i, media, online, online post, patience, post, procrastination, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Reddit this month:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

40 shares on X this month:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

16 shares on Threads this month:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

28 shares on X this month:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

63 shares on Threads this month:

Making art is making love to the world.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Freshly posted on Discord:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Just shared via Twitch:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Just landed via Pinterest:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Just shared via Instagram:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Just landed via Discord:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Just landed via WeChat:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨