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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

15 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Meow means woof in cat.

Live now on Discord:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Going viral on Messenger:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Just landed via Telegram:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Freshly posted on Threads:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Just shared via X:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Live now on X:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

6 months ago

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Welcome to your 40s, where gravity is no longer just a theory but a full-time job for your face 🌏😂 Embrace the wisdom wrinkles, they're just visual proof of all the hard work you've put in living your fabulous life! 💁‍♂️✨"

40s, aging, exhausted, face, humor, just, self-deprecation, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

15 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Spotted on WeChat:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Seen just now on Slack:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Going viral on Twitch:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Trending via Snapchat:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Making waves on Discord:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

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