Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Going viral on Threads:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Making waves on Twitch:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Going viral on Slack:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Just landed via WeChat:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like we're fishing for compliments, not cash! 🎣💸

buddy, finance, humor, i, joke, money, net, net worth, own, pun, wordplay, worth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

0

2 months ago

craving, dinner, food, good, humor, invent, invention, meal, should, sounds, tonight
The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, burn, frustration, hello, humor, invention, person, should, technology
I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

0

2 months ago

am, buying, care, happier, happiness, i, love, me, much, myself, peace, retail, retail therapy, self, self-care, shopping, therapy, things, works
The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

0

2 months ago

breed, cash, cow, humor, joke, pun, value
Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

0

2 months ago

app, date, dating, dating app, delivery, food, food delivery, good, humor, online, online dating, relationship, Tinder
I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

0

2 months ago

analogy, anxious, back, deep, depth, humor, i, inside, layers, myself, onion, peel, personality, self-perception, smaller, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

27 shares on X this month:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

65 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

25 shares on Discord this month:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Just shared via Reddit:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨