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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I’m running out of people I like.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Jan 2, 2026

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Just landed via TikTok:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Going bananas on Twitch:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Just shared via Messenger:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Going viral on Messenger:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Trending via Messenger:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Trending via Instagram:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

2 months ago

0

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember folks, the key to successful mountain climbing is knowing when to…uhm…wait, what was it again? 🤔 Looks like we missed the crucial part of the advice, but hey, who needs complete sentences when you've got a sense of adventure and a good pair of hiking boots? 🏔️😄 #LostInTranslation"

activity, adventure, climbing, humor, important, mountain, mountain climbing, outdoor, outdoor activity, preparation, remember, reminder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

0

5 months ago

astrology, cosmic, depressed, depression, excuse, health, humor, just, mental, mental health, mood, planet, planets, something, star, stars, sure, wrong
Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

0

2 months ago

dress, eating, effort, enough, fit, fitness, food, humor, later, lifestyle, making, marriage, still, wedding, wedding dress
Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, combo, drink, humor, morning, perfect
God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

0

2 months ago

fate, God, gods, humor, life, me, plan, super, weird
Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, going, humor, poetry, red, relaxation, roses, roses are red, sleep
Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

0

3 weeks ago

actually, humor, i, interaction, internet, online, outside, people, social, social interaction, sometimes, stranger, strangers, talk, wonder

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Discord this month:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,231

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Seen just now on YouTube:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Just shared via Reddit:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Going viral on Discord:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Trending via Threads:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

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