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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

890 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,052

Funny Quotes Topics

13,990

Funny Quotes Images

11,052

8 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Spotted on Facebook:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Breaking via Twitch:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Making waves on Telegram:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Just landed via WeChat:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Spotted on TikTok:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Just shared via Facebook:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

6 months ago

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember folks, the key to successful mountain climbing is knowing when to…uhm…wait, what was it again? 🤔 Looks like we missed the crucial part of the advice, but hey, who needs complete sentences when you've got a sense of adventure and a good pair of hiking boots? 🏔️😄 #LostInTranslation"

activity, adventure, climbing, humor, important, mountain, mountain climbing, outdoor, outdoor activity, preparation, remember, reminder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

890 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,052

Funny Quotes Topics

13,990

Funny Quotes Images

11,052

8 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Reported on Reddit:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Reported on Snapchat:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Going viral on Facebook:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Trending via Pinterest:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Just landed via Snapchat:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

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