Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.
  • Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.
  • The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.
  • I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.
  • Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.
  • Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.