Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Just landed via TikTok:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Just landed via Reddit:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Spotted on Twitch:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Going viral on Facebook:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

0
When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive and mysterious office ninja strategy! 🕵️‍♂️ Remember, in the wild world of work, blending in is key. Just like a chameleon camouflages, a top-notch worker disappears… until the coffee break comes around, of course! ☕️😂"

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The world started without permission again.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

84 shares on X this month:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents think they know me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Trending via YouTube:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Spotted on YouTube:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Making waves on Discord:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Spotted on Facebook:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Going viral on YouTube:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Making waves on Telegram:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Going viral on YouTube:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Making waves on Reddit:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Just shared via YouTube:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴