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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Jan 7, 2026

3,725

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Going viral on Facebook:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Just landed via Reddit:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Going viral on Slack:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Just landed via X:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Shared recently on Slack:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Spotted on Snapchat:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

2 months ago

0

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🚶‍♂️💨 "When you're late for work, just remember: walk in like you own the place and blame it on traffic with a poker face. Bonus points if you throw in some dramatic sighs and eye rolls for added effect! Who said being fashionably late couldn't be a comedy show in itself? 😂 #LateButFabulous"

act, attitude, fast, humor, late, mad, office, rush, walk, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

0

2 months ago

beard, change, grooming, growth, humor, i, me, personal, personal grooming, self-acceptance
A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, close, close talker, fly, fly swatter, humor, joke, personal, personal space, social, social awkwardness, space, swatter, talker
If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

0

2 months ago

close, comedy, door, haunted, house, humor, open
If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

0

5 months ago

anime, anime hair, brown, brown hair, color, color dysmorphia, dysmorphia, frustration, getting, hair, hair color, hair frustration, i, imagine, much, pissed, real
Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

0

2 months ago

authority, convoluted, convoluted language, just, language, legalese, magic, magic spell, power, rhyme, sense, signal, special, spell, spells, term, terms
Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

0

2 months ago

coolness, death, fashion, freeze, humor, styling, teenager

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Reddit this month:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

95 shares on Twitch this month:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

77 shares on X this month:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,459

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Live now on WeChat:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Trending via Slack:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Trending via Telegram:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

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