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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

29 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Just shared via Slack:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Going viral on Messenger:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Just shared via Messenger:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Trending via Pinterest:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Breaking via Slack:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Shared recently on Discord:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

4 months ago

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

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Commentary:
🚶‍♂️💨 "When you're late for work, just remember: walk in like you own the place and blame it on traffic with a poker face. Bonus points if you throw in some dramatic sighs and eye rolls for added effect! Who said being fashionably late couldn't be a comedy show in itself? 😂 #LateButFabulous"

act, attitude, fast, humor, late, mad, office, rush, walk, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

29 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Making waves on X:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Reported on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Just landed via Messenger:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

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