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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has copied:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has copied:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has downloaded:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has shared:

When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has copied:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has copied:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on Threads:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Making waves on Reddit:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Just landed via X:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Just shared via Reddit:

β€œI’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Going viral on X:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Witty text about fish and mongering, playful and humorous in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who made the rule, right? Let's open up a whole new world of mongering! πŸŸπŸ›’πŸ§€ #MongerEverything"

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

The term β€œbisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

92 shares on X this month:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

21 shares on Twitch this month:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

65 shares on Threads this month:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Talking to the stars because people suck.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,672

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has copied:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has bookmarked:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has downloaded:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has downloaded:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has copied:

Аbsolutely crazy to thΡ–nk that Leonardo DΡ–CaprΡ–o’s future gΡ–rlfrΡ–end Ρ–s currently nervous for her fΡ–rst day of kΡ–ndergarten.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has shared:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Threads:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Just landed via Instagram:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Trending via WeChat:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Trending via Slack:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Breaking via YouTube:

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

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