Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, so now we're setting some standards for backstabbing etiquette, are we? 🤭 Let's all aspire to be 'normal' gossipers, shall we? 😆 #FriendshipGoals"

back, happy, home, humor, just, later, me, normal, person, talk

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52 shares on Discord this month:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sane is boring.

Spotted on Twitch:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Seen just now on Threads:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Spotted on WeChat:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Live now on Pinterest:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Live now on Telegram:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨