Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.
  • Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.
  • My summer body has been pending for about ten years.
  • My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.
  • I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.
  • I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.