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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has downloaded:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has shared:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,268

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Live now on YouTube:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Going bananas on Threads:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.
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Commentary:
Sounds like you're getting a cardio workout dodging all the social interactions! πŸ‹οΈβ€β™‚οΈπŸ˜‚πŸ€Έβ€β™€οΈ

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

93 shares on TikTok this month:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen β€œto get something.”

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Trending Topics πŸ“

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Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When people give me directions and they’re like β€œyou can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has shared:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡² has copied:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has copied:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has shared:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has downloaded:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has copied:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has copied:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Twitch:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Just shared via Messenger:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Making waves on YouTube:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Just shared via TikTok:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Live now on Messenger:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Shared recently on X:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

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