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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,234

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Just landed via YouTube:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Live now on Slack:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Welcome to the thrilling world of corporate hide-and-seek! 🤫🕵️‍♂️📎 #MasterOfLookingBusy"

boredom, first job, humor, job, lack, lack of task, normal, nothing, office, office work, task, work, working, workplace, workplace humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

0

2 months ago

boss, childhood, hard, harder, humor, humor quote, mob, mob boss, negotiation, parenting, stubbornness, tiny, toddlers
We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

0

2 months ago

break, evolution, humor, irony, life, observation, oh, people, think, too
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

0

2 months ago

ball, expectation, frustration, humor, irony, me, mean, miscommunication, people, stress, stress ball, tell, throwing
I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

0

2 months ago

beer, humor, life, low, low moment, moment, never, saving, shower
Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

0

2 months ago

commitment, engagement, getting, humor, just, love, marriage, married, need, relationship, soon, spouse, wedding
I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

0

2 months ago

after, gone, herd, herd mentality, humor, i, media, mentality, opinion, opinions, political, politics, post, satire, selfie, social, social media, sure, viral

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on X this month:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

77 shares on X this month:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

49 shares on Slack this month:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Making waves on Twitch:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

Going viral on Discord:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Making waves on Slack:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨