Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.
  • No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.
  • Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.
  • I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.
  • “Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?
  • If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.