Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Just landed via Twitch:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Just shared via Slack:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Just shared via TikTok:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Seen just now on Threads:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Going viral on Discord:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"True! My closet is already a black hole for all my missing socks! 🧦🕳️😂"

clutter, everything, humor, humor quote, irony, joke, possessions, put, sarcasm, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

5 months ago

after, after work, close, coping, coping mechanism, drinking, drunk, humor, i, joke, just, mechanism, quitting, work
You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

1 month ago

entertainment, exit, humor, joke, sarcasm, wit
Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

2 months ago

curly, curly fry, favorite, food, fry, humor, me, personality, salty, self-description, spiraling
What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

1 month ago

archaeologist, back, digging, discovery, excavation, hand, humor, joke, looking
I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

2 months ago

am, everyday, fool, holiday, humor, i, laughter, need, self-deprecation, wit
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

2 months ago

cleverness, common, common sense, fruit, fruit salad, humor, knowledge, salad, sense, tomato, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Can we skip to the rich part?

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏