Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Parenting: Where mealtime is a constant game of roulette 🍔🍕 Will you get a food vacuum or a time-traveling lunch skipper? Stay tuned to find out! 😂"

appetite, asked, bottomless, bottomless pit, eater, food, humor, i, kid, lunch, meal, parenting, picky, picky eater, pit, thanks, want, yesterday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

1 month ago
accessory, attitude, communication, fashion, front, got, humor, important, listen, say, shirt, something, style, sunglasses, wardrobe
This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

1 month ago
bullshit, challenges, frustration, humor, life, never, pass, persistence, place, reality, struggle, take, this too shall pass, too
If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

1 month ago
date, humor, introduce, live, media, phone, post, prank, relationship, social, social media
We literally used to write an essay by hand.

3 months ago
education, essay, hand, handwriting, humor, literally, memory, nostalgia, old, old school, school, used, writing
It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

1 month ago
aliens, away, Earth, exploration, humor, intelligent, intelligent life, irony, life, observation, reason, science, space, space exploration, telescopes
I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

1 month ago
hair, humor, i, Medusa, mythology, night, sound, wonder

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Just shared via Threads:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Trending via Pinterest:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Going viral on Instagram:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Have you tried complaining about it?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏