Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Shared recently on Threads:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Going viral on Twitch:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Going bananas on Discord:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Live now on TikTok:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Going bananas on Messenger:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Just landed via Facebook:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Trending via Pinterest:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
No beef in the fridge, just a whole lot of spam 😂🥩🍔

anger, beef, food, fridge, got, humor, hunger, hungry, joke, mad, me, none, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

0

2 months ago

action, comedy, humor, i, intention, never, own, self, stunt
At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, awkward, awkward moment, conversation, humor, i, introvert, just, moment, myself, self-checkout, shopping, shut, small, small talk, social, social anxiety, talk, wish
Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

0

4 months ago

adulting, class, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, responsibility, skip, work
The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

0

2 months ago

argument, end, fight, fun, humor, internet, mayonnaise, media, online, online argument, post, social, social media
I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

0

2 months ago

dream, humor, i, joke, relationship, sarcasm, stupid, wit
I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

0

2 months ago

different, doing, doing nothing, fashion, five, humor, i, just, nothing, outfit, outfits, procrastination, relaxation, wait, waiting, week, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Twitch this month:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

92 shares on Discord this month:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

95 shares on Slack this month:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Freshly posted on Discord:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Going viral on Telegram:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Going viral on TikTok:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Just shared via WeChat:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Going viral on X:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Making waves on Facebook:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Making waves on Messenger:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨