Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

33 seconds ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Making waves on Twitch:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Just landed via Reddit:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Reported on Telegram:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Seen just now on YouTube:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Making waves on X:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Brace yourselves, folks! This is not a drill! Things are getting serious now 🚨🍪 Who knew that the catalyst for action was a pair of stretchy pants? #YogaPantsPower"

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

33 seconds ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Making waves on Twitch:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Making waves on WeChat:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Trending via Telegram:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Breaking via Reddit:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Just landed via Twitch:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Reported on X:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴