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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Trending via Threads:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Broadcasted on Slack:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Just landed via Threads:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

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“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.
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Commentary:
"Oh, the wisdom of the reluctant learner! 🤷‍♂️ Who needs personal growth when you can stay comfortably clueless, am I right? 🤣 Ignorance is bliss after all! But hey, at least they've got their priorities in order… right? 🤔😅"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on YouTube this month:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

93 shares on TikTok this month:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

40 shares on X this month:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,516

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Just landed via Reddit:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Just shared via Reddit:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Trending via Snapchat:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Breaking via Facebook:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

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