Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.