Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Breaking via X:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Trending via Snapchat:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Just shared via Messenger:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Trending via Threads:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Witty quote highlighting sarcasm about understanding, with a humorous, edgy vibe.
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Commentary:
Being "understanding" is just my crime prevention strategy 😂🚔📜

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Windmill? Big fan.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Just landed via Telegram:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Trending via Pinterest:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Making waves on Slack:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Going bananas on Slack:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Trending via Threads:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Breaking via Telegram:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Trending via TikTok:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

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