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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,909

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Making waves on Slack:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Broadcasted on Threads:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Live now on YouTube:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Being "understanding" is just my crime prevention strategy 😂🚔📜

humor, i, irony, life, misunderstanding, prison, relationship, rest, sarcasm, understanding, want, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

1 month ago
again, coworker, coworkers, day, even, every, guy, never, quit, think, year’s
I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

1 month ago
confidence, humor, i, irony, need, praise, sarcasm, self-esteem, self-worth, someone, validation
The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

2 months ago
advice, best, confused, confusion, dating, dating advice, ever, humor, know, love, need, piece, relationship
So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

1 month ago
comedy, excuses, humor, irony, rude, self-deprecation, solutions
I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

2 months ago
curve, dieting, distance, fitness, flatten, flatten curve, food, humor, i, need, pandemic, refrigerator, social, social distance
Might quit my job to focus on summer.

1 month ago
activity, decision, focus, fun, fun activity, humor, job, leisure, quit, quitting, summer

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Breaking via Instagram:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Trending via Snapchat:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Going viral on Reddit:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Just shared via Threads:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

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Activity Log ✨

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

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“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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