Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.
  • That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.
  • Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?
  • I don’t make mistakes, I date them.
  • You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.
  • Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.