Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.
  • Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.
  • What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.
  • My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.
  • The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.
  • I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”