Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.
  • Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.
  • I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.
  • A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.
  • This is the fastest December in the history of all December.
  • Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.