Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.
  • My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.
  • Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.
  • Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.
  • Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”
  • Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?