Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.
  • Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.
  • The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!
  • Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.
  • If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.
  • Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.