Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.
  • I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.
  • Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”
  • Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.
  • Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.
  • I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.