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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.
  • Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.
  • Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.
  • If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.
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  • Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.